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Dear {{FirstName}}
1. My Two Oceans Marathon run Saturday 7 April 2007
I have a concern that my latest newsletter did not reach many of my subscribers - so herewith the link to read it online. It's newsletter #78 and item 5 refers to my 3rd conscutive Two Oceans run. If you'd like to sponsor me for a rand or two per kilometre, kindly refer to item 5. The Botshebelo kids will be mighty grateful!
It was my best Two Oceans so far, felt better, run went according to plan, and completed it in a personal best time of 5hrs 42.39. The sponsorship link is here. Translated for non-runners, it's by no means a fast time, but more than respectable!
2. When last were you good enough?
*feature article*
As recently as 15 years ago international rugby players put their bodies on the line for the sheer honour of representing their countries. Sure they were already getting paid for playing, but no one was getting rich. Today, the bonuses for victory are staggering – the consequences of defeat disasterous, the competition for top contracts fierce. No wonder footballers don’t want to get injured – it doesn’t pay. Recently a world acclaimed and admired cricket coach paid the ultimate price of pressure – and money in the game, with his life.
The mounting pressure is relentless – to look and be good enough, to be seen to have enough. As long ago as 1973 – Miss World, Belinda Green from Australia commented that her calves were a little fat. If Miss World doesn’t look good enough, who on earth does?
It seems to be increasingly unfashionable to be oneself anymore as society’s new icons parade on television and are splashed across magazine covers. The worse their behaviour, the more they seem to be idolized by a media desperate for circulation supremacy. Newspaper circulation is more likely to increase on the latest Brangelina rumour than on the genocide currently underway in Darfur. The media understands what gets the hits on the internet and continue pushing the boundaries of what can pass as barely acceptable.
Even folk of modest means feel the pressure of having to measure up, trading their perfectly good cars in after 3 years for a newer model. Why, for heaven’s sake?
It’s about the pressure, our inherent need to be accepted, to be seen to be good enough, and fear of the consequences of not measuring up – whatever they may be. In reality, the consequences reside predominantly in our heads, nowhere else.
The extraordinary thing is that the people whose approval we are so desperate to acquire really don’t care. They don’t care if we fail, and they care even less if we succeed. And why should they? They have their own problems to worry about, besides which we don’t really care about them either. We may care about mankind in general, yes. Some of us agonise about the suffering in the world. We care for our friends, our families, our community, even our work colleagues. But those that really care about us don’t care about how beautiful we are, what we drive or how much money we make – they care about who we are, and what we do. Those that do not care about us only enjoy watching our success so that they can gloat when we fall. Take note of the press frenzy surrounding such celebrities as Britney Spears and Heather Mills.
So why do we let what others may think of us stop us from trying? And why do we fear comparisions – is it the fear of not being good enough?
The vast majority of humans never get close to realizing the enormous talent and latent ability that they have. Why? Because they are too intimidated to understand their own self worth. We look at others who are successful and feel inadequate. So often as children we are told not to expect too much, so we don’t. Bless our old fashioned mentors, trying to protect us from disappointment. As a result, in our own minds we just don’t quite measure up. We keep hearing about who got the gold medal. We understand that it’s always someone else, but it’s not for us. No one really remembers who got the silver or bronze anyway, so it can’t really be worth getting.
But there is a precious secret that has been discovered by enough people to render it no longer a secret – and it is this: There is no relationship between lasting happiness and coming first. Deep down we strive for happiness, yet we continually agonise about something that may bring us what we want in the short term, but can never bring us what we really need.
The truth is that you are good enough. You always were, and you will be in the future. As you strive to be better, accept your successes with humility. Yes, by all means celebrate them – that’s good and it’s healthy. But stop comparing yourself with others in order to confirm your inadequacy. It's great to want constant improvement, but you are perfectly adequate. Just ask those that genuinely care for you - you know who they are. In the race of life there will always be some who are behind you, and some who are ahead.
The one’s who have discovered the secret are those who enjoy the journey, every step of the way! When I started running long distances my running mentor gave me some of the best and most invaluable advice he could have: “Enjoy the run.”
Paul du Toit
P.S. When I finished my Two Oceans run just after 12 noon on Saturday 7 April, I estimated that approximately half the field were in front of me and the other half were behind. But it was my personal best time, and although my body hurt real bad, it was the best feeling in the world!
Every time I address an audience, I'm reminded of the privilege of the platform, the responsibility of being able to impart important information to people who want to hear it, and how much I enjoy doing it!
Mindset Shift.
The opportunity to speak about the extraordinary ability of man to change whatever he wants to, individually or collectively, has brought a new dimension to the message I am able to convey. Having successfuly introduced my new seminar on change to the major centres (thank you for all the encouraging feedback and testimonials), I'll be moving to other areas in the 2nd quarter of 2007.
Richards Bay Wednesday breakfast 6 June at the Richards Hotel, Meerensee.
Registration and breakfast is from 07h30, seminar starts 08h15. We end at 11h00.
Windhoek Wednesday evening 13 June at the Safari Hotel, cnr Aus & Aviation Street.
Walvis Bay Thursday evening 14 June at the Pelican Bay Hotel.
Registration is from 16h45, seminar starts 17h15. There's a finger buffet, and we end at 20h00.
Mindset Shift is addressed from three perspectives - individual, team and organisation. The simple question? "How do I permanently change the things I need to in order to be successful?" At all three levels. It's R597 per head (pricing 10% down on last year), Book here now - you can read more about the seminar here. Each delegate also receives a complimentary DVD.
Winning Attitude premiers both evening events.
Registration is from 16h45, seminar starts 17h15. There's a finger buffet, and we end at 20h15.
Witbank, Tuesday 22 May at the Southern Sun Ridge Hotel
Nelspruit, Wednesday 23 May at the Mercure Hotel
You may access the current seminar schedule by going here to see what the next event is near you. If you missed the Durban March seminar, the Richards Bay one on Wednesday 6 June is just a wee drive down the road....
4. One and two day course schedule 2007
Congruence Training (Pty) Ltd has 15 programmes accredited with the Services Seta
Our current public course schedule is now available and posted on our website for Gauteng and Mpumalanga - please go here for details.
Recent addition are our new Assertiveness and Stress Management one-day programmes. We're conducting public versions in Gauteng in May 2007 and all are available in-house too.
5. Ninette's baby
This is a newsletter, so here's our news of the month. Our wonderful Admin Manager, Ninette, gave birth to her first, a son, John Wentworth Rex, weighing in at 2.97kg on Thursday 19 April. Mother and baby are doing very well. Says she "He's such a good little chap." I'll be booking her on to the next Mindset Shift seminar so that she understands that things can change occasionally....
Paul du Toit is MD of the Congruence Group and an experienced and compelling professional speaker. He is the Immediate Past President of the National Speakers Association of South Africa, and is the Secretary of the International Federation For Professional Speakers. To subscribe to Paul's Congruence newsletter or upgrade your subscriber status, go www.pauldutoit.net or www.congruence.co.za or use the link above right. Why not share this with any friend or associate you feel may benefit? We share your address with no-one. Want to opt out? See below. To book Paul for a Mindset Shift talk, phone 0860 503 191 Share call (SA only) or go here