Milestones

Before the birth of our daughter, we wondered what she'd be like. Fortunately, when she was born, she did things most babies do - she slept, wet her nappy, drank like a high pressure suction hose, and howled. Like most parents, we watched our daughter's progress with keen interest and obvious delight, complimenting one another on the fine genes we'd pooled to produce such a whiz-kid. It was as exciting watching her outstrip other kids of her age as it was annoying when the other little devils reached their milestones before her. And there was plenty of both.

At one stage there was consternation about when the potty training would produce results. Fortunately the words of a wise person many years ago reassured me: "When she's 18, you can be assured she'll be going to the toilet on her own." Reassured, the pressure was released, and almost miraculously, the potty training kicked in.

I remember when my sister aged 6 won an art competition run by the Argus newspaper way back in 1965 and was awarded the princely sum of R20. My 7-year-old artistic masterpiece didn't even crack the bronze, and Michelle was declared the family artist. But Paul could sing. So that was easy. Paul could sing. Michelle could draw/paint. To us, that meant collectively that Michelle couldn't sing and Paul couldn't draw. We'd each been boxed.

Here's the third scenario: Paul could run, provided it wasn't a sprint, so Paul ran a 1500m at a school athletics competition and came in 3rd by catching the guy in 3rd place in the last 20 metres, but was then told that he was breathing all wrong. Confused, deflated, discouraged and feeling very tired, Paul didn't try that again for some time, in fact, another 30 years. The evidence suggested it would be a bad move.

Some milestones will come in their own good time as a matter of course, because one needs to be toilet trained to get ahead in life, and crawling around when you're 16 looks a little stupid.

But there are other milestones that remain entirely your choice. For instance, you can get on in life without ever making your first million. Happiness is not dependant on having a matric or a degree, driving a luxury car, taking overseas holidays, winning the Miss SA pageant or the lottery, writing a book, being elected to parliament or even parenting a child. But achieving milestones that matter to you can add tremendous value to your life and those with whom you associate. Especially when it's something you were told that you would never be able to do when you were small, or something you gave up on when your first attempts were unsuccessful.

So, isn't it time to start celebrating and really enjoying your personal milestones?

Here's one of mine. On 20 February 2005, at age 46 I'm running my first marathon (The Pick 'n Pay 42.2km) with my more experienced friends Henry and Ronnie. No big deal for some. To me it's huge. It's been planned, the training is on track, and I'm aiming for a time of 4 hours 15 minutes. Next week, I'll let you know how it went, not because it's a big deal. It's simply because 3 years ago it wasn't even an option or a possibility for me. My neighbour Fred took me for a 6km run in April 2002 and started something that has made the seemingly improbable become possible.

What milestones are you going to achieve in the future that will produce evidence that you can do, achieve and have whatever you want to in life if you just put your mind to it? And with that evidence in hand what will you tackle next? And how much happier and more fulfilled will you be? And how much may these things keep you motivated, interested in life and happy?

This is the 50th Congruence Newsletter, and we now have over 9600 subscribers. Guess that's quite a milestone too.

Paul du Toit.

"Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe it can achieve" - Napoleon Hill