Change the default setting

In the past few months I've done my fair share of eating out all over the country. I'm pleased to be able to report that broadly speaking, the levels of service in Southern Africa are fairly good. I would be able to say very good if the attempts of managers, waitrons and waitresses weren't so frequently hampered by a lack of attention to finer detail. Here are some of the most glaring omissions:

1. Interruptions. When your patrons are in the middle of a conversation, being interrupted with "Is everything OK?" ...is a mindless interruption. especially when you say "No, it isn't!" Somehow, that reply was unexpected...
2. "So how's the food?" this, when you're trying to shovel the first fork mouth wards."Come back in 3 minutes and I'll let you know." Then you don't see them for another half hour.
3. "I can recommend this wine, it's very popular."
   "Have you tried it?"
   "Well, not actually." Mmm.
4. I'm one of those irritating diners who often takes my own wine to a restaurant - especially reds, as I get annoyed at the rip-off 120% mark-ups, and prefer a good red to be aged for a few years. As a rule, I find out the corkage charge before asking for my wine to be opened. If the waitress says R15, and it appears on my bill as R25, that's just fine. Comes off the tip.
5. I love the way the maitre d' floats into a detailed description of all the specials. I, for one, hardly ever have a starter. Must I listen to all this waffle? How about: "Would you like to hear about the starters we have on special?" "No thanks, but the main courses would be of interest."
6. Finally, why should I struggle to get someone's attention so that I can pay my bill? seems to be standard practise in SA restaurants.

Let's face it, most of us are not quite sure what we should be tipping or what's expected. In North America and Europe the standard seems to be 15% - but please don't forget, this is your money, the server should be earning some kind of basic, even if it's a pittance, and tipping should be for good service, not just for serving you. Here's Paul's restaurant tipping guide: Round off your bill by adding approximately

15% or more for excellent service
10% for generally good to acceptable service
5% for serving you
1% for shoddy, disinterested. "you're interrupting my social life" service. It's important to tip that 1%, because it's a deliberate statement, and shows the value you place on the treatment you've received. If you receive the sarcastic response "Do you think you can afford it?" Immediately riposte: "Without question, I usually tip quite generously." Hopefully, your server will get the message. With some luck, he'll learn a lesson too.

Here's my question for consideration. Why is brilliant service the exception rather than the rule? I think I've worked it out. Humans generally operate in default mode, the mode of behaviour set by one's internal thermometer called habits. It takes a remarkable person to make the conscious decision to be customer focused, and then to take the necessary action to implement the new behaviour until it becomes a habit. Fortunately, there are pockets of these wonderful people scattered all around our beautiful country. It is these people who give some lucky visitors just enough of what we are capable of so that they'll recommend us to others and sometimes come back for more themselves.

Perhaps as a country we need to take the lead from these wonderful people and change our default setting. Remember, when you're dealing with another human, you're first dealing with their feelings, and then their requirement. Being customer focused means honing in on how people feel and giving them the clear message "I'm here to help you." That's all any of us ever want to hear.

Paul du Toit (October 2004)