Cell phone etiquette

I'm frequently baffled by the way many people manage their mobiles. Just think about it for a moment.

1. Firstly, there is an off button. This is for when one is in a meeting, seminar or on holiday and or does not wish to be disturbed. If you forget to switch it off when you should, it's not cricket to be abrupt to the unfortunate soul on the other side, no matter who they are.

2. Then there's the internationally used no-brainer greeting used by 72% of all cell phone users: "Hallauw?" Very intelligent indeed. How is the poor soul on the other side supposed to know who they're through to unless you identify yourself and save everyone including yourself loads of time? Try this: "Hi, this is Linda?" (replace Linda with your name. If you are Linda, then leave it as is!)

3. If you're calling someone on their mobile: "Hi Linda, it's Paul. Is this a good time to talk?" The exception being when you've already left 2 messages and she hasn't come back to you. This either means you're not important enough, or she forgot or doesn't like you. In this case your best bet is to just start talking (and hope she doesn't hang up).

4. Then the voicemail. Under no circumstances start your greeting with "Hello" followed by a pause. Folk get annoyed when their response is cut short by the balance of your message and will think that you are a twit. If you really want people to leave messages, keep your voicemail greeting to between 4 and 8 seconds - trust me on this one. And please, no music!

5. If you happen to mislay your cell phone in your home, car or office and you recall that it's still switched on, please don't waste your time hunting for it - phone yourself from another phone (and then hang up when you find it, which will hopefully be before your voicemail kicks in). OK, so you worked that one out long ago - have you any idea how many people haven't?

6. Last tip. I've found that the buttons on smaller phones are just too small for most of us (especially ladies with long nails) they get lost more easily and they are more likely to slip out of one's hand. Cell phones are pretty tough, most of us have found, but you can only drop them so many times before they suffer serious damage, and they don't do well when submerged in water. So best to get one you can hold on to easily. And if it does fall in the drink and you manage to get it out very quickly (like under 2 seconds) switch it off immediately and hope you've prevented a short circuit Then put a hairdryer to it pronto. My old Ericsson R320 went for a swim 2 years ago - and it's still in daily use thanks to these steps.